Japanese Culture

A while ago my manager (an Australian) and I had a meeting with a senior manager from fairly large Japanese company in Australia, the Japanese manager also bought his Australian colleague. When I came to shank hands with the Japanese manager, I smiled and went to shake his hands like usual, he also smiled and shook my hands but then he bowed down in front of me, this was the first time I met a Japanese manager who bowed down, I wasn’t sure what to do so I immediately bowed down too (he didn’t bow down with my Australian manager, maybe it was because I am Asian and he assumed I should bow?)

I wasn’t sure how low was I suppose to bow or whether I was suppose to let go of his hand when I bow, I basically did a small bow while still shaking his hand. I felt quite unnatural, and he obviously sensed the awkwardness, I think he was immediately offended that I only did a small bow or that I did not bow down at same time as he did or I did not know the correct business etiquette. Anyhow, after that initial “handshake”, he obviously became cold towards me throughout the rest of the meeting.

What is the correct etiquette in this situation?

Thank you.

Bow just as deeply or slightly deeper (the latter if he is above you in position. if your manager is on equal terms with him, then he should be, right?) and lower your eyes. You can still continue shaking hands but be careful not to bump heads (it can happen).

From wikipedia:
"When dealing with non-Japanese people, many Japanese will shake hands. Since many non-Japanese are familiar with the custom of bowing, this often leads to a combined bow and handshake which can be quite complicated to execute. Bows may be combined with handshakes or performed before or after shaking hands. Generally when bowing in close proximity, as necessitated when combining bowing and shaking hands, people turn slightly to one side (usually the left) to avoid bumping heads.

I babysit professionally and I will be babysitting for a family who is visiting San Diego on business. They have one child, a 7 yr old boy. I got the job because I have learned 2 years of college level Japanese and hopefully will be able to communicate with them. My question, is there any etiquette protocol I should know about….specificially, I will address the father by last name…san, but the child…should he just be first name? thanks…any tips appreciated!

Here are some resources for you. I would also suggest if you have any questions especially regarding how they want their child to be supervised, that you ask the parents in a respectful manner.

And be punctual.

I have an usual sense of style. I look a bit like my avatar, and my style is a mixture of hippie, goth and lolita complete with facial piercings etc.
Whenever I go outside, some loser (generally male – females just give the evil looks) feels the need to comment, by calling me "sick", "weird", "a freak" or making some inane comment such as, "oh my fucking God look at that girl". I am honestly a very quiet, socially awkward person – my style is the only thing that gives me confidence, since I was bullied a lot as a kid for less obvious idiosyncrasies. I find it hurtful sometimes, but more often than not, I just think, what the hell are they doing, and why aren’t they ashamed to be behaving in such an uneducated, animalistic fashion?
I am wondering, if you saw someone dressed a little oddly in the streets (I’m not THAT weird, just alternative. Think a less OTT version of Lady Gaga with more Japanese influence. For example today I’m wearing a "Be Happy" slogan t-shirt, a greyish short skirt, lace tights, purple Dr. Martens, and a purple bow in my hair – which is like my avatar) would you feel a need to comment a make a fool of yourself? Bear in mind I usually confront them unless I have earphones in. I also love this assumption I’m somehow mentally retarded or lacking in depth… I often get spoken to be aforementioned idiots in a verrry slooow way.
Personally, I fail to understand it. If I saw someone in the street with tattoos covering their entire body, multi-coloured hair and plastic icicles hanging from their neck, it would still not occur to me to say anything, because it’s just not my business to judge them and it’s totally lacking in social etiquette.
Opinions?
Jeez, I never realised how many ignorant people used this website. Why, pray, do I seem like a poser oh great modest one? Because I’m literate? Because I have a degree of self-respect? As I said, I’m socially awkward, in therapy, have only a few friends and never go out. I’m hardly a poser on that account.
I really despair of the human race. Thanks for helping, guys << sarcasm, in case you haven’t heard of it.
And I’ve been dressing the way I do for 5 years in an attempt to overcome my demons/issues with confidence. It would alien for my to dress "normally" now, just as it would be for you to dress "alternatively". Although I did seriously consider it the other day.
Condensed into one sentence: fuck off, you ignorant fools. If anyone wants to offer *constructive* opinions, I would like to hear them.
For the record, I have OCD, Asperger’s Syndrome and bipolar (manic depression) so conforming would be a little hard unless I was happy with being treated as a lesser human being.

Did you know that a mother hen will peck relentlessly at the deformity of its chick? They will peck and peck until the creature either dies, or is defaced of its original abnormality/individuality.

I suppose you could relate that to some extent to the situation here; you aren’t ascribing to what is a generally conformist dress sense, and therefore Will be demonized naturally by some elements of wider society. Its only natural to attack those who stray from the tribe.

What’s important to remember is that every single advancement human kind has ever achieved was spurred by people engaging in exactly what you are doing, resisting the norm. Don’t expect the average ignorant human to support your endevours of distinctiveness, because they wont. Welcome their ridicule, they are only ultimately, ironically, laughing at themselves.

There’s no need to feel alone, remember that there are other people out there like you, once more I’m sure you will enjoy their company more so than the mundane average you have described. Leave them to laugh at themselves.

Josh

Soon I will be working with a group of visiting Chinese teens (15-17y/o), directing English lessons, speaking with them, and taking them out for group tours around my state.
I’m a Japanese major so I know about Asian cultures, but my knowledge on China in particular is pretty limited. Before they arrive I want to learn some things, primarily customs, but I’m having a hard time finding information on customs outside of eating and business etiquette. In case it matters, I don’t know what region of China they’ll be from other than it’s simply mainland China.

So if you could answer what you do know, it would be really appreciated!

1. What are some common Chinese gestures? (Like in the US a thumbs-up is good; thumbs-down is bad.)

2. When in school do Chinese students typically begin to study English?

3. Aside from the obvious politics and religion, are there topics that Chinese usually avoid discussing with people who aren’t close friends?

4. I’ve read that in China spitting isn’t a big deal. Are they likely to know it’s not as acceptable in the US? We’re going to some very crowded and tourist-targeted outdoor areas, as well as a theme park, and I don’t want anyone we meet to think poorly of them.

5. Are there any other things the Chinese do that Americans might frown upon, or vice versa?

6. Are there any American music groups, TV shows, or movies that are popular in China currently that they might know about? Alternatively, is there a really popular Chinese TV show or movie that *I* should know about?

7. Is there a type of food (junk food or otherwise) that’s not sold in China?

1. They count on their fingers different than we do, our ‘time out’ symbol is used a lot (essentially the same meaning). All photos have the peace sign, but for them it means victory.

2. My students start learning at age 3, most start in middle or high school. Your students probably started pretty early.

3. To me it seems like they talk more about superficial things. They worry about ‘face’ so they’re not as open about personal topics. They like to give advice, especially unsolicited. They don’t date at that age, so its mostly a non-topic.

4. High schoolers don’t seem to spit as much as adults. Plus I’ve seen teens in America spit. Worry more about #5.

5. They think its ok to litter, they’ll leave their trays on the table at McDonalds, girls don’t shave, they don’t shampoo their hair as much, they don’t wear deodorant, they don’t understand the US tipping system, they might yell for their waitress. They might not like the US openess and bluntness.

6. Lady Gaga is really popular, as is a lot of mainstream pop music. They watch a lot of Prison Break and Gossip Girls. NBA is huge. Most of our movies also go to their theaters, so they’re very aware of Hollywood.

7. China has a lot fewer candy bars. They have cake, but it tastes like cardboard. No one bakes cookies or brownies. KFC and McDonalds are popular, but it is very hard to find Mexican, Italian and other ethnic foods. Cheesy items aren’t common (except pizza). Be careful with food, they seem to be less adventurous than Americans, but will be polite and will tell you the food is delicious even if they don’t like it.

Be aware, students in China are much less mature than their American counterparts. This isn’t a dig on them, it is a function of the way they were raised. They have made almost no decisions on their own, they know almost nothing about sex, they really believe what they see on TV. Start off expecting 12 year olds, you can readjust your expectations after you’ve met them. You will probably stay saner that way.

Chinese people are also all fairly the same, and they are proud of this. But as a result they don’t really get how much variety there is in America. They tend to think we are all blue eyed, blond hair and eat hamburgers at McDonalds for every meal.

I am a single Japanese woman, living alone in a nice, cozy and beautiful decorated apartment in one of the condo in Singapore. Never would thought such unfortunate incident can happen to me and in Singapore..

It was coming to midnight. My pet Shih Tzu dog was panting heavily after our long walk and I released the leash to let her breath easily as she sat beside me. We sat on the exercise equipment bench in the Outdoor Fitness Corner which is behind the poolside for about 10 minutes. Suddenly I saw the glimpse of a shadow as I turned around and in shock, I found a middle aged man quietly standing in front of me. There was no one around at such twilight hour. With poolside area shutdown after 2300 hours which meant all lightnings are switched off, the whole place is in total darkness. Most of residents would have gone to bed.
Not observing any etiquette/without any greeting or not even an introduction of his presence, this stranger launched into talking about his dog problems. I am a Japanese woman and he speaks quite rapidly, in English. I could not quite comprehend most of what he was trying to say. But I can see that he is emotionally affected with his problems, upset with AVA’s fine over his big dogs’ attack of a small dog. I gathered that the police had charged him for his bad behavior and the victim sued him for medical compensation and aggrieved damages.
As he continues to elaborate on his dog matters, my woman’s intuition tells me that behavior is highly suspicious. I do not know what is his real intention in approaching me to talk about dog matters in such twilight hours and at such secluded spot.
a) I have not seen him before in the condo. My suspicion was aroused that he could be a visitor hanging around in the Condo after the Saturday BBQ party or he is visiting the Condominium. Why is he in the Condo at such hour? Where is the regular security patrolling that comes to this area?
b) I asked him “Are you a resident here and where are you staying?” I did not receive any answer from him and he kept silent for a while with a direct question interrupting his speech
c) I refused to continue listening to him regarding his dog’s incident as I do not see this stranger having his dog with him. This raised my suspicion further that he might be using the dog issue to harass and trap me in whatever his intentions may be, as he cannot state that he is a resident.
He then became agitated and violent “ I am giving you warning that you must come around MY place to make my big dogs panicked and caused trouble” He now sounds like a bully who owns the entire condo and dishing out intimidation.
d) I said to him “Your dog business and problem with the police are none of my concern. I do not want to know.
e) Then he blasted out “ I have been monitoring you for a while” and then he took out from his pocket what looks like a black digital camera or some kind of black berry camera POD and then stretched out fully his hands as if to restrain me from getting out of the Fitness Corner. The alarm sounded and I have more frightening thoughts “What is he doing with a camera at midnight. Has he stalking me and talking pictures during my night strolls” My mind decided to get the hell out of his sight.
f) He pointed his finger at me smearing. “ I want to take pictures of you and the dog”
g) I grabbed my pet Shih Tzu in a single scoop, side stepped out of his way and ran away with him chasing after me saying “Where are you going and where are staying?”

I should have screamed at that instance but I guess my fear overcame any boldness to act. Later I found from the security guards in the Security Command Centre that this obnoxious man is a tenant staying in my block on checking the surveillance camera that has a recording of him wandering on the ground floor lift lobby of my block. He has a police report lodged against him from a resident in the condo over his behavior, claim for compensation and his dog problems. Hell!

It is most unwarranted of him to behave this way. I feel that his manner was rude and boorish in accosting me, his behaviour was aggressive and intimidating. I am suspicious of his real motives and his conduct to a lone defenseless woman at the wrong place and wrong timing.

Please give me advice what best to do apart from lodging a police report as he is a tenant in the condo. Under Singapore law, would such behavior amounts to intimidation and harassment against a woman? and can i get a restrain order if he continues to harrass me?

Pity Sakura

That is clearly a piece of fictitious literature which I have no intention of fully-reading, and certainly not under the guise of a question about personal safety.

Japanese Business Etiquette
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I am a single Japanese woman, living alone in a nice, cozy and beautiful decorated apartment in one of the condo in Singapore. Never would thought such unfortunate incident can happen to me and in Singapore..

It was coming to midnight. My pet Shih Tzu dog was panting heavily after our long walk and I released the leash to let her breath easily as she sat beside me. We sat on the exercise equipment bench in the Outdoor Fitness Corner which is behind the poolside for about 10 minutes. Suddenly I saw the glimpse of a shadow as I turned around and in shock, I found a middle aged man quietly standing in front of me. There was no one around at such twilight hour. With poolside area shutdown after 2300 hours which meant all lightnings are switched off, the whole place is in total darkness. Most of residents would have gone to bed.
Not observing any etiquette/without any greeting or not even an introduction of his presence, this stranger launched into talking about his dog problems. I am a Japanese woman and he speaks quite rapidly, in English. I could not quite comprehend most of what he was trying to say. But I can see that he is emotionally affected with his problems, upset with AVA’s fine over his big dogs’ attack of a small dog. I gathered that the police had charged him for his bad behavior and the victim sued him for medical compensation and aggrieved damages.
As he continues to elaborate on his dog matters, my woman’s intuition tells me that behavior is highly suspicious. I do not know what is his real intention in approaching me to talk about dog matters in such twilight hours and at such secluded spot.
a) I have not seen him before in the condo. My suspicion was aroused that he could be a visitor hanging around in the Condo after the Saturday BBQ party or he is visiting the Condominium. Why is he in the Condo at such hour? Where is the regular security patrolling that comes to this area?
b) I asked him “Are you a resident here and where are you staying?” I did not receive any answer from him and he kept silent for a while with a direct question interrupting his speech
c) I refused to continue listening to him regarding his dog’s incident as I do not see this stranger having his dog with him. This raised my suspicion further that he might be using the dog issue to harass and trap me in whatever his intentions may be, as he cannot state that he is a resident.
He then became agitated and violent “ I am giving you warning that you must come around MY place to make my big dogs panicked and caused trouble” He now sounds like a bully who owns the entire condo and dishing out intimidation.
d) I said to him “Your dog business and problem with the police are none of my concern. I do not want to know.
e) Then he blasted out “ I have been monitoring you for a while” and then he took out from his pocket what looks like a black digital camera or some kind of black berry camera POD and then stretched out fully his hands as if to restrain me from getting out of the Fitness Corner. The alarm sounded and I have more frightening thoughts “What is he doing with a camera at midnight. Has he stalking me and talking pictures during my night strolls” My mind decided to get the hell out of his sight.
f) He pointed his finger at me smearing. “ I want to take pictures of you and the dog”
g) I grabbed my pet Shih Tzu in a single scoop, side stepped out of his way and ran away with him chasing after me saying “Where are you going and where are staying?”

I should have screamed at that instance but I guess my fear overcame any boldness to act. Later I found from the security guards in the Security Command Centre that this obnoxious man is a tenant staying in my block on checking the surveillance camera that has a recording of him wandering on the ground floor lift lobby of my block. He has a police report lodged against him from a resident in the condo over his behavior, claim for compensation and his dog problems. Hell!

It is most unwarranted of him to behave this way. I feel that his manner was rude and boorish in accosting me, his behaviour was aggressive and intimidating. I am suspicious of his real motives and his conduct to a lone defenseless woman at the wrong place and wrong timing.

Please give me advice what best to do apart from lodging a police report as he is a tenant in the condo. Under Singapore law, would such behavior amounts to intimidation and harassment against a woman? and can i get a restrain order if he continues to harrass me?

Pity Sakura

Buy a pistol.

I am a single Japanese woman, living alone in a nice, cozy and beautiful decorated apartment in one of the condo in Singapore. Never would thought such unfortunate incident can happen to me and in Singapore..

It was coming to midnight. My pet Shih Tzu dog was panting heavily after our long walk and I released the leash to let her breath easily as she sat beside me. We sat on the exercise equipment bench in the Outdoor Fitness Corner which is behind the poolside for about 10 minutes. Suddenly I saw the glimpse of a shadow as I turned around and in shock, I found a middle aged man quietly standing in front of me. There was no one around at such twilight hour. With poolside area shutdown after 2300 hours which meant all lightnings are switched off, the whole place is in total darkness. Most of residents would have gone to bed.
Not observing any etiquette/without any greeting or not even an introduction of his presence, this stranger launched into talking about his dog problems. I am a Japanese woman and he speaks quite rapidly, in English. I could not quite comprehend most of what he was trying to say. But I can see that he is emotionally affected with his problems, upset with AVA’s fine over his big dogs’ attack of a small dog. I gathered that the police had charged him for his bad behavior and the victim sued him for medical compensation and aggrieved damages.
As he continues to elaborate on his dog matters, my woman’s intuition tells me that behavior is highly suspicious. I do not know what is his real intention in approaching me to talk about dog matters in such twilight hours and at such secluded spot.
a)I have not seen him before in the condo. My suspicion was aroused that he could be a visitor hanging around in the Condo after the Saturday BBQ party or he is visiting the Condominium. Why is he in the Condo at such hour? Where is the regular security patrolling that comes to this area?
b)I asked him “Are you a resident here and where are you staying?” I did not receive any answer from him and he kept silent for a while with a direct question interrupting his speech
c)I refused to continue listening to him regarding his dog’s incident as I do not see this stranger having his dog with him. This raised my suspicion further that he might be using the dog issue to harass and trap me in whatever his intentions may be, as he cannot state that he is a resident.
He then became agitated and violent “ I am giving you warning that you must come around MY place to make my big dogs panicked and caused trouble” He now sounds like a bully who owns the entire condo and dishing out intimidation.
d)I said to him “Your dog business and problem with the police are none of my concern. I do not want to know.
e)Then he blasted out “ I have been monitoring you for a while” and then he took out from his pocket what looks like a black digital camera or some kind of black berry camera POD and then stretched out fully his hands as if to restrain me from getting out of the Fitness Corner. The alarm sounded and I have more frightening thoughts “What is he doing with a camera at midnight. Has he stalking me and talking pictures during my night strolls” My mind decided to get the hell out of his sight.
f)He pointed his finger at me smearing. “ I want to take pictures of you and the dog”
g)I grabbed my pet Shih Tzu in a single scoop, side stepped out of his way and ran away with him chasing after me saying “Where are you going and where are staying?”

I should have screamed at that instance but I guess my fear overcame any boldness to act. Later I found from the security guards in the Security Command Centre that this obnoxious man is a tenant staying in my block on checking the surveillance camera that has a recording of him wandering on the ground floor lift lobby of my block. He has a police report lodged against him from a resident in the condo over his behavior, claim for compensation and his dog problems. Hell!

It is most unwarranted of him to behave this way. I feel that his manner was rude and boorish in accosting me, his behaviour was aggressive and intimidating. I am suspicious of his real motives and his conduct to a lone defenseless woman at the wrong place and wrong timing.

Please give me advice what best to do apart from lodging a police report as he is a tenant in the condo. Under Singapore law, would such behavior amounts to intimidation and harassment against a woman? and can i get a restrain order if he continues to harrass me?

Pity Sakura

Nah, not really.

I am a single Japanese woman, living alone in a nice, cozy and beautiful decorated apartment in one of the condo in Singapore. Never would thought such unfortunate incident can happen to me and in Singapore..

It was coming to midnight. My pet Shih Tzu dog was panting heavily after our long walk and I released the leash to let her breath easily as she sat beside me. We sat on the exercise equipment bench in the Outdoor Fitness Corner which is behind the poolside for about 10 minutes. Suddenly I saw the glimpse of a shadow as I turned around and in shock, I found a middle aged man quietly standing in front of me. There was no one around at such twilight hour. With poolside area shutdown after 2300 hours which meant all lightnings are switched off, the whole place is in total darkness. Most of residents would have gone to bed.
Not observing any etiquette/without any greeting or not even an introduction of his presence, this stranger launched into talking about his dog problems. I am a Japanese woman and he speaks quite rapidly, in English. I could not quite comprehend most of what he was trying to say. But I can see that he is emotionally affected with his problems, upset with AVA’s fine over his big dogs’ attack of a small dog. I gathered that the police had charged him for his bad behavior and the victim sued him for medical compensation and aggrieved damages.
As he continues to elaborate on his dog matters, my woman’s intuition tells me that behavior is highly suspicious. I do not know what is his real intention in approaching me to talk about dog matters in such twilight hours and at such secluded spot.
a) I have not seen him before in the condo. My suspicion was aroused that he could be a visitor hanging around in the Condo after the Saturday BBQ party or he is visiting the Condominium. Why is he in the Condo at such hour? Where is the regular security patrolling that comes to this area?
b) I asked him “Are you a resident here and where are you staying?” I did not receive any answer from him and he kept silent for a while with a direct question interrupting his speech
c) I refused to continue listening to him regarding his dog’s incident as I do not see this stranger having his dog with him. This raised my suspicion further that he might be using the dog issue to harass and trap me in whatever his intentions may be, as he cannot state that he is a resident.
He then became agitated and violent “ I am giving you warning that you must come around MY place to make my big dogs panicked and caused trouble” He now sounds like a bully who owns the entire condo and dishing out intimidation.
d) I said to him “Your dog business and problem with the police are none of my concern. I do not want to know.
e) Then he blasted out “ I have been monitoring you for a while” and then he took out from his pocket what looks like a black digital camera or some kind of black berry camera POD and then stretched out fully his hands as if to restrain me from getting out of the Fitness Corner. The alarm sounded and I have more frightening thoughts “What is he doing with a camera at midnight. Has he stalking me and talking pictures during my night strolls” My mind decided to get the hell out of his sight.
f) He pointed his finger at me smearing. “ I want to take pictures of you and the dog”
g) I grabbed my pet Shih Tzu in a single scoop, side stepped out of his way and ran away with him chasing after me saying “Where are you going and where are staying?”

I should have screamed at that instance but I guess my fear overcame any boldness to act. Later I found from the security guards in the Security Command Centre that this obnoxious man is a tenant staying in my block on checking the surveillance camera that has a recording of him wandering on the ground floor lift lobby of my block. He has a police report lodged against him from a resident in the condo over his behavior, claim for compensation and his dog problems. Hell!

It is most unwarranted of him to behave this way. I feel that his manner was rude and boorish in accosting me, his behaviour was aggressive and intimidating. I am suspicious of his real motives and his conduct to a lone defenseless woman at the wrong place and wrong timing.

Please give me advice what best to do apart from lodging a police report as he is a tenant in the condo. Under Singapore law, would such behavior amounts to intimidation and harassment against a woman? and can i get a restrain order if he continues to harrass me?

Pity Sakura

As a Police Officer for 9 years I couldn’t figure out any act of intimidation or harassment committed.
He could be just behaving a bit weird, and probably want to speak to someone over his problem. Just ignore him in the future, Of course, you can report his behaviour to the Condo Management. The Police will not investigate into the matter even you report to them, as there was no offence committed, and it’s a private property.

i am interested on knowing the culture, manners and etiquettes of these countries, particularly regarding business, what do they do actually in their idle time, where do they usually hang out, drink, games they play (cards), anything traditional in their custom and modern too…
what really makes them comfortable….
please no anything nonsense….

I have always been fascinated by the Japanese culture. This site helped me.
http://www.japaneselifestyle.com.au/culture/culture.html